In a recent comment pastfirst said that cultural background can affect a marriage. So can your temperament. So can that of your spouse.
If you are an optimist and he is a pessimist that will affect the way you look at situations. It may not necessarily be for the worst. Sometimes it is good to have that balance. I’m like Nellie out of ‘South Pacific,’ I’m the ‘cockeyed optimist’ in our marriage, which can lead to problems. Such a person is not careful that sometimes unrealistic and too optimistic expectations can lead to disappointment if things don’t turn out as expected.
Similarly the person who is a perfectionist could encounter problems with someone who is laid back and has the near enough is good enough approach. The optimist or the perfectionist has high expectations of him or herself but usually also others. The perfectionist needs to be sure they are standards are not so high others can never meet them. On the other hand the laid back person can drive a perfectionist person crazy by not taking things seriously enough.
After an argument or sharp words or a hurt situation many women will often dwell on them. Whereas often once the argument is patched up as far as the man is concerned everything is fine and he doesn’t think about it. Of course that is a generalization that women tend to keep thinking things over and replaying them while the man has forgotten about it. It could also happen the other way round, though it is perhaps not as likely, since men and women tend to look at things differently. It’s something to keep in mind when we are having trouble understanding where our spouse is coming from.
Similarly I watched my husband patiently playing with the computer and printing out some wedding photos for our family wedding wall, wand think I’d have given up long ago. No guesses for who is the impatient person in our partnership.
Or maybe it’s just different talents. I’m not that into computers and artistic endeavors. I would spend the time trying to get a piece of writing right. Fortunately I learned years ago not try and be something I’m not, but worry about those things I can do. So, Mick does the creative arty things and I write. We support and appreciate each other’s talents.
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