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How Important Are All Those Milestones, Really?

I remember carefully noting when each of my children rolled over, sat up, walked and ran. I wrote down what their first words were and I’ve even saved the sheets of paper where I recorded each solid food as it was introduced to see if there were any allergic reactions or what the likes and dislikes were. It seemed very important for me to keep track of where they were in terms of developmental steps and what “percentile” they were in for various milestones. Now that they are nearly grown, I can’t quite remember why it all seemed so very important at the time.

I guess the reason for keeping track of all those early milestones is to make sure that children are “on track” developmentally. And, for first-time or beginning parents, it can certainly be daunting wondering if everything is normal or not. But now, looking back, I can see that I could have done a lot more relaxing and less fussing over whether things were happening according to some chart or timetable in my pediatrician’s office.

I do remember that everything was counted in weeks and months in those early accounts of milestones—boy, would I hate it if my “adult” development and growth were measured in terms of weeks and months instead of years and eras! It takes me a full year just to get the hang of a new job—and that’s provided there aren’t any major changes or promotions in that first twelve months. Looking at my teenagers, development has become incredibly personal and maturity is all based on perspective and personality. Everything eventually evens out and the individual path seems to rule the process.

While commemorating milestones and noticing changes and development definitely do matter in parenting, maybe all those tiny detailed charts aren’t nearly as important as I thought all those years ago…