We all have our triggers—even the most patient single parent among us can be pushed to the breaking point. I think it can be helpful to figure out what our tolerance level is, whether or not we are more prone to crankiness and impatience at different times of the day, and if there are combinations that can make us more likely to lose our temper. Just as you would analyze your child’s temperament and figure out when it is best to try new things or how to organize your day to avoid meltdowns, you might also want to consider your own temperament and figure out just how long you can last before you lose it…
I was talking to someone recently who confessed that she could stay reasonably patient and make it until about 1:00pm when it comes to coping with her very energetic and independent three + year-old. She said she could manage breakfast and the waking up time, and manage to use all her best parenting techniques until about lunchtime. If she could get her daughter down for a nap immediately after the day might be salvaged—but if there is resistant or the nap gets pushed back, she feels herself getting strained and ragged and losing patience with the child’s “nos” and rebelliousness. “Why can’t she ever just make things easier instead of making it so hard!” this mother wailed.
Knowing you have hit your wall (or when you are about to hit it) can help you to make plans and choices to keep from losing it. Maybe your child can have a play date in the afternoons (or mornings if that is your tough time); if you are considering working part-time, why not find a job where you can work during the times when you have a hard time communicating with your child? What can you do to get away from the stressful situation, regroup and keep from losing your temper? Identifying your breaking point will help you to make a plan for keeping things under control.