The whirlwind romance seems so romantic. Love at first sight is a sweet concept, even if it isn’t very practical. We know that it isn’t a good idea to rush into marriage, but what about rushing into engagement? After all, an engagement can be called off if necessary, right? Still, no commitment should be taken lightly. Engagement is a serious promise and one that should be given in depth consideration before being made.
While new love is thrilling and wonderful, people do need time to get to know each other before making serious commitments. Consider the fact that after a month or two you still know very little about another person, even if you talk all the time and are nearly inseparable. You need time to learn about your beloved’s background, childhood, beliefs, habits, and don’t forget his or her family.
It makes sense to get to know the other person’s family very well before deciding to become a part of it. There is an old saying that says, “You marry his family too.” It’s quite true and you will be tied not only to your spouse but to his or her family as well, for the rest of your life if you take your vows seriously.
If you really love someone, there is no hurry. Real love will not wither if you wait, it will grow even stronger over time.
Do each other a favor, and take the time to get to know the following:
- Get to know how the other person reacts to problems, challenges, stress
- Learn each other’s hopes, dreams, and future plans
- Find out as much as you can about the other person’s lifestyle and habits
- Get to know his or her family and friends
- Discuss issues like having children, how many, how to raise them, will one of you stay home?
- Learn how the other person deals with finances
- Discuss religion, values,(and perhaps politics)
- Discuss where the two of you will live once married
- Learn about each other’s family traditions and how holidays will be spent
This is the short list, but you get the idea. Arm yourself with as much knowledge as possible and enter the relationship better prepared to make it last a lifetime. Rushing into marriage, marrying too young, and going into it with unrealistic expectations are some of the most dangerous pitfalls. You can avoid all three by taking your time, and that may also mean not rushing to get engaged.