You meet the man (or woman) of your dreams, fall in love and get married. About ten minutes into the reception, someone will mention children. You are going to have children, aren’t you? As soon as you get pregnant, people will how many children you plan to have. Hopefully, you have discussed this with your partner and are in agreement.
Some couples discuss the number of children they want before they get married, others don’t get that specific. Maybe you never had the talk or have changed your mind on the subject. If that’s the case, you should discuss it soon.
Pregnancy is not always the best time to make that decision, especially if this is your first baby. I swore each of mine would be the last, after the final weeks of pregnancy, labor and then losing the baby weight. Fortunately, I changed my mind and we now have four little ones.
Sometimes what we imagine when we get married is much different than the family we ultimately create. When my husband and I were first married and later when we were in treatment for infertility, I imagined having one child. I really thought we’d have one, or maybe two children. The family of my imagination is much different than our family of four children.
Other couples may start out wanting a large brood of six children and then change their minds after having one or two. A difficult pregnancy, financial reasons or the desire to have more time for the kids or a career are some reasons for the change of heart.
I really believe that a mother knows when her family is complete. After our third baby, everyone in our lives started making comments about our family and when my husband would “get snipped.” When she was first born, I thought she would be our last, but within a few months I felt that there was another soul waiting to come into our family. It turned out that intuition was right and her little brother was born right before her fourth birthday.
After the birth of our son, the feeling that another soul is out there went away. It hasn’t returned. He will be our last baby. We feel our family is complete. At least I think it is…
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