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How Much Do You Depend on Your Spouse?

When we get married, we rely on our spouses to help us in many ways. It’s normal to feel somewhat dependent on your spouse, whether it means depending on the other person’s income, receiving emotional support from that person, or it can include many other important aspects of our lives.

If we depend too much on another person to meet our needs or provide us with happiness, we will be disappointed. Marriage is a promise to stand by each other and to love one another for the rest of our lives, but it is not a guarantee of bliss. It’s also not a guarantee that the other person will live forever. We each need to work for personal happiness and to meet our own needs.

If something happened to your spouse (God forbid), would you be able to function? Do you know which bills need to be paid when? Do you know where bankbooks are or what the account numbers are? Would you be able to take care of the kids on your own if your spouse ended up in the hospital or even had to leave town for an emergency trip?

There are plenty of other issues to consider, but it makes sense to ensure that both spouses can handle any household or family affairs that arise. By working together, you’ll be better prepared if unforeseen events arise.

Every parent should know how to administer children’s medications, how to reach the doctor, and should be aware of children’s basic health information. Both should know children’s Social Security Numbers. Write these things down on an index card to keep in your wallet if necessary.

Both spouses should also be aware of all assets and how to access them. Husband and wife alike should know the location of birth certificates, passports, and other important documents.

For many couples this probably seems like very basic information, but others may get so used to certain routines that one person has no idea how to take on the other spouse’s role effectively in case of emergency. It’s also good to sit down and discuss these issues, as well as things like who should care for children if something happens to both of you, and how your wills should be arranged.

We don’t like to talk about these things, but they are important. Would you know what to do if your spouse was suddenly unable to fulfill his or her typical role in your life for some reason? If you can’t honestly answer a resounding, “yes,” then it’s a good idea to make a plan.

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