While I have a very high tolerance for chaos and unpredictable upheaval, I have a very low tolerance for drama. It may seem like a paradox—especially for someone living in a houseful of teenagers—but in my mind; there is a big difference between life’s natural chaos and the creation of big drama…
What is the difference? Well, for me, chaos seems more organic—like the natural result of family life and just being a person alive on this family. Drama feels like something that is created—either as a distraction, or to fill some psychological need or desire. In my mind, drama can actually get in the way of dealing with the real issues and challenges that come our way. Some kids (and parents too) seem to crave and create more drama than others. Since I don’t have a lot of tolerance, it does not take very much created drama to send me over the edge. That does not stop my kids from trying to go there.
I think I have more tolerance for family drama—particularly with my children—than I do for drama that comes from outside my family (work, friends, extended family, etc.). Since my family is such a priority, I don’t really make much room for other created drama that comes from the world at large. I am definitely NOT the person my friends and coworkers should go to if the hope is to engage someone in some sort of dramatic scene. I recognize, however, that we all have different limits and thresholds and some of you might have a much higher threshold for other people’s drama than I do!
So, how do I handle the big drama scenes? I tend to just remove myself and disengage. Occasionally, I’ll get sucked in—I have one daughter who is extraordinarily gifted at drawing me into her drama—especially if I’m tired, crabby, or generally weak. But, overall, when I see a big drama coming on—I’m oughta there!
See Also: Selective Silence–Sometimes Less Works Best
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