When I am writing my articles for the Single Parents blog, I seldom write the word “single” without it being followed by the word “parent(s)”–for those of us who ARE single parents, we might find that the label of “single” either fits or does not feel like it describes our existences well at all. Our identity may involve so many things that while the rest of the world may be judging us solely on whether we are “coupled” or not, we might or might not agree…
Even though the numbers prove that there are many, many single adults–both parents and those who do not have children–it is still assumed that couple hood is the “norm”–this can be a tough reality for some of us to get used to, yet for others, it feels absolutely fine (and normal). We might also vacillate between wanting to be partnered, liking being on our own, and not knowing what we want. Regardless, that “single” seems to stick to us as a major part of our identity. People ask our status, we wonder if we should be dating more or less or whether we will ever find a comparable partner and our children may wonder how to explain or describe mom or dad. What does it actually mean and what does it really mean to us?
To be honest, I do not think about my “single hood” much except when it comes up as a subject brought up by other people. I’ve written before how my life is so full and with three kids, I am seldom alone so I don’t think of myself as being a single, solo person in the world. I also do not feel pressured to partner in order to prove that I am a full adult or “normal.” I do know other single parents, however, who feel that label of “single” as if it is a burning stigma. Where does “single” fit into your identity? Do you feel as though it is a major part of whom you are or something more minor?
Also: Answering the Probing Relationship Question
If I’m Not Partnered, Why Don’t I Feel Single?