An economy in recession can put a lot of stress on a marriage, and not just from increased worry about paying the bills, although of course money worries can always create some tension. In tough times, personality differences, even differences in gender may make the situation ripe for conflict. Let’s talk about this issue and how we can recognize when the economy is affecting our marriages.
In a tough economy there may be stress over where the money is spent. If you have one spouse who is a saver and the other who likes to spend, the difference between the two may cause more arguments than during times when there was extra money available. The way to get around this, I think, to establish an independent spending budget that each person can use for whatever they wish and without comment. That last part is important. The spender can still spend without being nagged, while the saver knows it will be within a limit.
The same goes for someone who is a worrier and someone more laid back. The worrier may be wringing his or her hands at the situation, while the laid back person may become annoyed. This could lead to attacks about things that have nothing to do with money or financial security. A solution here is for the worrier to get some support, ideally from the other spouse, but possibly from family or a best friend. Perhaps sitting down together and going over income and expenses can allow reality to sink in about their financial situation for both husband and wife. Working together to make changes if necessary should help relieve some of the worry.
Another conflict may arise because stereotypically, the husband’s core identity may be tied up with being a good provider. I’m not saying that this is right or wrong, just that it tends to be, according to many marriage counselors. If the husband feels that is role is being threatened, the role of provider, it can affect the marriage in everything from resentment to infidelity. An extramarital affair can be seen as an escape from economic pressure at home.
I think the important thing here like anything else is to communicate and present a united front against whatever stresses are affecting the marriage, such as tough economic times.
Mary Ann Romans writes about everything related to saving money in the Frugal Blog, creating a home in the Home Blog, caring for little ones in the Baby Blog and now relationships in the Marriage Blog. You can read more of her articles by clicking here.
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