Lighthouse parenting combines the most important aspects of raising children: nurturing, loving, protecting, and communicating with them. Much like a lighthouse, parents provide a stable source of guidance for their children while still maintaining a healthy balance of stepping in and allowing them the freedom to grow and learn on their own, parents.com reported.
On the spectrum of parenting styles, lighthouse parenting hovers right around the middle — not as involved as a helicopter parent, but not as hands-off a a free-range parent. However, this approach may not be effective for every child.
“Lighthouse parenting straddles the line where you’re not becoming overly involved, but you’re also not being permissive and standoffish,” explains Joe Farrell, LCSW, owner and psychotherapist of Peninsula Child & Family Services in Virginia.
A big component of lighthouse parenting involves being present and available for your children whenever they need guidance without overstepping boundaries.
“With helicopter parenting, parents are not allowing [their kids] the opportunity to ask for help because they’re identifying problems before they arise. They’re providing solutions that aren’t being asked for and not allowing their children to struggle,” says Farrell.
In contrast, he says, parents that utilize a lighthouse approach avoid solving their children’s problems for them and seek to cultivate a relationship where their children feel safe and comfortable bringing issues and challenges to the parent — and work through these tough moments with them.
The Key Principles Of Lighthouse Parenting Include:
Checking in and communicating
Balancing autonomy and guidance
Giving children enough space to experience and learn from failure
Being available whenever guidance is needed
Fostering independence and resilience
Allowing children the opportunity to make decisions and problem-solve on their own
Benefits of Lighthouse Parenting
Promotes healthy boundaries: Lighthouse parents set healthy limits and boundaries for their children without being too forceful or overly involved. This helps foster essential life skills such as independence, problem-solving, and resilience, while building their self-esteem and self-confidence.
Creates a Supportive parent-child relationship: A lighthouse parenting approach values open communication and self-reflection, and it encourages children to come to parents for guidance, which lays the foundation for a comfortable and supportive relationship.
Farrell explains “[Your kids] will see you as an effective source of support when future problems arise because they know that you’re going to provide them with tools and guidance. You’re not going to become overly-involved, you’re not going to pus them away. — It’s going to create a really nice, supportive relationship that most parents would want with their children.”
Builds better coping skills: A cornerstone of lighthouse parenting is offering children guidance when it’s needed, rather than constantly intervening and solving their problems for them. This approach can be supportive in helping kids to build effective coping skills and strengthen their resilience, which can prepare them to move through challenges and overcome obstacles throughout their life.