Yesterday we looked at whether anger is a sin. I said it was not – or not always. But it can be, if we let that anger fester and do not deal with it appropriately. It’s what we do with that anger that’s important.
One of our families.com members pointed out that not dealing with anger can cause other problems. Stress, depression, ulcers, heart problems, emotional and mental problems among other things could all fit into that category.
So what can we do as Christians about inappropriate anger? The bible tells us ‘the Lord is ‘slow to anger and abounding in lovingkindness,’ Exodus 34:6, Numbers 14:18. If, as Christians, we seek to reflect God other people then we also need to be slow to anger. The New Testament backs up this view. We are told ‘love is not easily angered,’ I Corinthians 13:5 NIV. Christians are urged to be ‘slow to speak and slow to anger,’ James 1:19.
Anger is something at times I have to work on, to make sure words don’t fly out of my mouth because they can’t be taken back. Maybe it’s so for you as well. Proverbs 29:11 tells us ‘a fool always loses his temper, but a wise man holds it back.’
Proverbs 29:20 reminds us that hasty words are a problem, so think before you speak is a good motto to follow. Count to ten or twenty before you let those words out.
Proverbs 29:8 tells us how to deal with anger. ‘Scorners set a city aflame, but wise men turn away anger.’ In other words, it is a conscious choice to put away the anger and deal with it. Not to ignore it, but to deal with it.
That might mean taking the situation to God and admitting that you feel angry and asking His help in dealing with it. It might mean praying for the person you are angry with. Often as we pray for others and their well being, even if we don’t feel like it, God changes our attitude and brings it in line with his own.
It might mean sitting down with the person and calmly talking through the situation and explaining why you feel angry. Not accusing them and focusing on what you believe they have done but on how you are feeling. If you can’t do this unemotionally and without getting het up all over again, then it might be a good idea to put it in a letter or email instead.
So whatever you do don’t let it fester and churn inside you. ‘The churning of anger produces strife,’ Proverbs 30:33. Strife not only for others but ourselves. I’d love to hear your thoughts and how you deal with anger.
With the exception of 1 Corinthians 13:5 which is from The New International Version, all others bible verses are from The New American Standard Version.
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