In the September 2005 issue of Parenting , noted author and parenting expert Dr. William Sears talks about a behavior that’s near and dear to me— whining. Like a lot of kids his age, Tyler has the bad habit of whining and when he does —it makes me cringe. I’ve asked him nicely not to do it but so far this behavior has not lessened much. Like the parent who wrote in to Dr. Sears wanting to know how she can stop the behavior, Tyler’s whining is driving me up the wall.
Fortunately, Dr. Sears offers some valuable tips on how to deal with this problem. He first points out that one reason kids whine is because they have realized that in doing so they can get your attention. But, according to Dr. Sears, there are a number of ways we can “unwhine” our kids.
First, we have to find the source of the trigger that starts the whining. It may be that the child is hungry or tired or even bored.
Like a lot of other unwanted behavior, we should simple ignore the whining. If your child whines, you should explain that you will not listen to them if they whine instead of talking in a nice voice.
Another method is to demonstrate how irritating the whiny voice sounds. Dr. Sears points out that sometimes kids don’t actually realize how annoying their whiny voice is. What you should do is demonstrate what they sound like and then follow up what a nice, normal voice sounds like. End by telling them that you would like them to speak in the nice pleasant voice and that you will be glad to listen only when they are speaking as such.
Finally, the doctor points out that like many other annoying behaviors that kids engage in, we have to be patient and hopefully with consistent reminders of what we expect of them, the whining will stop. It might take awhile, but eventually they will grow out of it.
See also:
Eating Sleeping and Getting Up, Part I
Eating, Sleeping and Getting Up, Part II
Eating, Sleeping and Getting Up, Part III