Do parents stereotype their children?
As parents we often stereotype our children and expect certain things from them. The oldest child is forced to learn responsibility because we expect them to help out around the house more and to look after younger siblings. Some responsibility is great. The problem
comes when we expect too much and a pattern is set.
The younger child becomes a troublemaker because it gets the older child in trouble. The older child feels responsible whenever the younger child does something wrong.
As a parent we might find ourselves making comments like, “Tracie is so responsible, I just don’t know what I’m going to do with Ryan, “ or “Patrick, my youngest, is such a daredevil, while I can always count on Josh to play it safe.” You have labeled your youngest child,
even though Sally down the street takes much greater risks. The more we label children the more they grow into those labels.
How can we prevent this stereotypical labeling?
Listening
Take time to actually listen to your child. Don’t assume you know what they think or how they feel. You might learn things about their personality that you didn’t know.
Emphasize Positive Behaviors
Focus on your child’s positive behaviors. Don’t tell your child they are mean or reckless. Instead tell them you know they can be nice or choose the right thing to do. This puts the focus on the positive behavior you want to see.
Don’t Label
Don’t label your child. Introduce them by their name not their role in the family. Don’t expect certain behaviors just because they are the oldest or youngest.
Don’t Compare
Each child is unique. Don’t compare them to their siblings or so-and-so down the street. One child might get A’s on their report card while the other gets B’s, although both worked just as hard. Reward both for their effort and don’t make either feel inadequate.