Yesterday one of our family members gave a rundown of what was happening in her household and looked for answers what to do. Unfortunately I don’t have any magic answers to her problem. But this is what I would do in that situation.
First make a list (yes I’m big on list making) of all the jobs that need doing. Then gather the family together and tell them calmly and honestly how you’re feeling about what is currently happening, or not happening as the case may be. Explain you cannot be expected to do everything and neither should anyone else be expected to, but that it needs to be shared duties for the household to function well.
Then present the list and get people to say which jobs they would be happiest doing. Unless there is an argument or discussion about who wants to do what, then make sure each person is responsible for those tasks they have nominated and split the rest up between you.
Communication is the key. Sometimes people are genuinely unaware how much someone else is doing because each of us tends to see things from our own point of view. This came home to me today when I did our monthly grocery shopping by myself as my husband has a sore back at present.
I missed, not only our conversations on the way in and out of town, but his strength and help. Instead of me checking the prices while he unpacks the trolley, I had to unpack, which meant trusting the checkout girl was ringing prices up correctly (not always the case). Thankfully the girl did a great job, as I discovered when I did check it. I was also thankful for the other girl who packed everything into the bags and then back into the trolley for me.
It all made me appreciate again how much I value him. Filling up with gas was even worse. I managed to get a pump that kept clicking off all the time. When I got home I was very quick to tell Mick how much I appreciate his help and the things he does. Lesslywas right in saying appreciation is the key.
I thank my husband for washing up, or for being thoughtful or doing certain jobs like gardening and growing our vegetables. He often reciprocates by showing his appreciate of a meal or other things I do.
So, yes, sit down and talk the situation through and assign jobs to each person. But don’t forget then to show appreciation when the jobs get done.
Tomorrow I’ll look at another point worth mentioning in the divvying up of household tasks.
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Why I’m Happy to Submit to My Husband – Part 2