Your child insists that they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. Parents need to learn how to support their transgender child. This is especially important if you live in a state that has created laws that are intended to cause harm to transgender kids and teens.
Time to Learn
Mayo Clinic explains that gender identity is a person’s sex that was assigned at birth. It is the internal sense of being male, female, neither, or both. Gender expression and sexual orientation are separate things.
According to Mayo Clinic, if your child is persistent about gender identity feelings, you should listen. Talk to your child and ask questions without judgement.
Parents can support their transgender child in these ways:
Don’t assume your child’s gender expression is a form of rebellion or defiance.
Don’t prevent your child from expressing gender in public or at family activities to avoid making you or someone else uncomfortable
Don’t try to shame or punish the gender expression out of your child.
Don’t block your child’s access to gender-diverse friends, activities, or resources.
Don’t blame your child for experiencing discrimination.
Don’t belittle or ridicule your child’s gender expression or allow others in your family to do so.
MassGeneral for Children states that being transgender is much more common than you might think. There are about 1.4 million people in the United States who identify as transgender, or about 0.6 percent of the population.
Here is some advice from MassGeneral for Children:
Being transgender is not a phase. Although every child begins to explore their gender identity at a very young age, even as young as 2, transgender children tend to be “persistent, consistent, and insistent” in expressing their gender identity. All families should’ve children the space and time to explore who they are in healthy and positive ways.
Parents do not need to cure or fix their transgender child. Forcing your child to live as the gender they were assigned at birth will not prevent your child from being transgender. But it can cause a lot of emotional pain and lead to emotional challenges as your child gets older.
Accept and love your child for who they are. Know that there is nothing wrong with them and that you did not cause them to be transgender. Acceptance means coming to terms with who your child is, regardless of your own feelings or opinions.
Let your child “come out” on their own terms and in their own way.
Ask your child how you should refer to them. Do they prefer pronouns like “his/him” “she/her” or something different?
Become your child’s best advocate. Make sure they are supported as much as possible from family, friends, and in your community. Get them the medical care and emotional support they need. Transgender children with supportive families do much better than those who are not.
Related Articles on Families.com:
The Kids of Same-Sex Parents are All Right
Gender Neutral Parenting is an Option
Lighthouse Parenting Provides Stable Beacons