Everyone wants to be a Mormon mom, even if they never admit it. Right? Well, that’s what we tell ourselves. (Suddenly, Goldie Hawn’s line in “Overboard” is running through my head: “Everyone wants to be me!”) Well, Mother’s Day is coming up soon. Here are the top ten ways to tell that you are a real, live LDS mother (you know, as opposed to those fake Mormon Moms walking around out there).
1. You can do amazing and even healthy things with lime jello.
2. You haven’t been able to fast since before your first child was born, due to being either pregnant or nursing.
3. When people ask you if you are ‘finished’ after your six child is born, you smile and say, “We’ll see.”
4. Your grocery bill is larger than your house payment.
5. A large part of your grocery bill consists of wheat, and a large percentage of your electric bill is due to frequent use of a wheat grinder.
6. You visit with more women from church in an average month (due to visiting teaching, your calling, enrichment groups, and service opportunities) than most women’s leaders in other religious organizations.
7. You are capable of glancing at a ‘normal’ recipe and can instantly double, triple, or quadruple it to feed your family.
8. Your family reunions or get-togethers have more small kids running around than most preschools.
9. Your children are named for your ancestors, and they get to hear tales from their family history as nightly bedtime stories.
10. You have grandkids older than your youngest child, and/or great-grandchildren older than some of your grandchildren.
There you go. Now you can tell immediately if you are the “real thing” or just a pretender. Want some more laughs? Check out the thread in the LDS Family forum to see what suggestions our readers made to the cause!
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