When you’re worried, negative thoughts can get progressively louder. What starts out as a simple concern can snowball out of control, with one negative thought leading to another. Before you know it, the worry is all-consuming and the negative thoughts are all you can hear. The louder they get, the more anxious you feel. The more anxious you feel, the more intense your negative thoughts. It’s a vicious cycle and before you know it, you’re living in, on and through a channel that only plays the negative soundtrack of your life.
Only you can turn down the volume. Only you can change the channel on your negative thoughts to positive ones that voice reality, not fear: “I hear you, but you’re wrong, so I choose not to react to you. The action I choose to take in response is to tune you out.”
Say to yourself, “I hear you, bur you’re wrong; I am a worthwhile person.”
Say to yourself, “I hear you, but you’re wrong; I have amounted to something.”
Say to yourself, “I hear you, but you’re wrong; I don’t have to be perfect to be loved.”
Say to yourself, “I hear you, but you’re wrong; I don’t have to be in control to be safe.”
Say to yourself, “I hear you, but you’re wrong; I am strong enough to face today and I am strong enough to face tomorrow.”
Of course, the more direct you can be with the nature of your fear, the louder your true voice can be heard. Consider this real-world example, excerpted from my book, Overcoming Anxiety, Worry and Fear: Practical Ways to Find Peace:
Cindy lived in fear of losing her job.
“Okay,” I said, “if you lost your job, what would you do?”
At first, all she could talk about was the panic she’d feel, but I gently pressed her to think about three positive things she could do and not become stuck on what she’d feel. She couldn’t think of anything right away, but then, after she’d expressed her anxiety, she laughed a little and said she could take a break. She admitted she spent so much time worrying about losing her job that she rarely enjoyed it. She was fearful of letting it go, even during days off or vacations. She had to admit that, if she ever did lose her job, she’d actually be able to rest. Upon further prompting, she said she’d take some time off for herself. After that, she’d start looking again, maybe for something completely different, something less stressful.
“So,” I commented, “losing your job wouldn’t really be the end of the world. It would be the end of that job, but it might just be the beginning of something better.”
In other words, often the best way to turn down the volume on negative thoughts is to acknowledge them, but to also generate positive thoughts that are inherently louder, stronger and more aligned with the truth.