Last week, I attended an after school in-service. Unlike some that I have attended, I left this in-service with useful information. The in-service pertained to working with difficult children. The presenters focused on the video and books by Howard Glasser.
Glasser believes that we, as teachers and parents, focus too much energy on correcting undesired behaviors. He feels that more energy should be put into recognizing appropriate behaviors. I agree that most of us use a much stronger and more energized voice when correcting a child rather than praising a child. Some children, Glasser noted, feed off of the energy. Had we rather our children desire more attention through positive or negative behaviors? As a parent and as a teacher, I am now trying to give more energy and more attention to my children’s positive actions. I am trying to comment more when I see the children carrying out the desired behavior rather than continuously focusing on inappropriate behaviors. Only after a couple of days, I can see that the children are very responsive to my comments. Glasser believes that adults should note and possibly even create opportunities to give positive feedback to even the most troubled children. While I agree that it is sometimes hard to catch difficult children carrying out appropriate behaviors, most of these children rarely hear compliments. A little positive attention may be just what the children need to get them on the right track.
Another valuable piece of information that I carried with me is how to discipline a child. Glasser feels that disciplinary actions should carry the least amount of energy possible. Because some children are desperate for attention, they will feed off all attention even if it is negative. If a child feels that he/she can gain a lot of attention through wrongdoing, then he/she is likely to continue to carry out the behavior. Instead of allowing the child to consume your energy through discipline, state the punishment and follow through with it. Do not allow argument or give continued attention to the situation.
I have heard many different types of discipline techniques. However, I have never heard one that seemed so simple yet logical. While listening to Glasser’s video, I had one of those, “Of course, why did I not think of that?” moments.
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