I remember several years ago, when there was a bit of a focus on “how to do” just the right business handshake. Recently, I was in a meeting and when I stood up to go, the man I was meeting with refused to shake my hand, muttering something about an injury and I realized how incomplete and unprofessional the meeting felt as soon as the handshake was abandoned. I thought this might be a good place and time for a little refresher course on the handshake:
The rule is to remember the story of Goldilocks and the Three Bears and offer a handshake that is neither to soft and limp, nor too hard and aggressive. Experts recommend a moderate and firm handshake. A handshake is really an extension of a person’s body language. So, if you’ve mastered all the other elements of body language and come off as calm and confident, offering handshake that is too hard and tight or too soft and noncommittal can send a completely different message–and likely a message you do not want to send!
Another thing to watch is whether or not you are offering a different type of handshake to individuals who are different genders. In other words, when men or women offer a soft, light handshake to a woman–it can come across as an insult–as if you don’t think she can “handle” a genuine interaction. On the other hand, a too-hard handshake to a male can look as though you are trying to be dominant or over-compensate for some insecurities. Remember, warm, firm, and consistent.
Mastering the handshake can be important. It is often the first and only time you have to make physical contact with a customer or prospective customer or client so it’s a strong way to convey more of who you are and how capable you are in business and personal matters. I know this puts a lot of pressure on one handshake, but mastering the warm, firm, confident handshake (while also looking the person calmly in the eye) is really a business must!