USA Weekend had a great article this last week, written by Ann Pleshette Murphy, entitled “Tutor Toddlers with Hugs.” In part, the article reads:
“We know from decades of research that children learn best from their everyday experiences with the people they know, trust and love, not in structured environments where they are pressured to perform,” says Matthew Melmed, executive director of Zero to Three, which promotes youngsters’ well-being.
Part of my own decision to homeschool comes from the fact that I was homeschooled myself. I was taught in the comfort of my own home, with my mother nearby, and that suited my individual learning style to a T. I am a person who connects emotionally, and to have that emotional support and to know I was loved while learning greatly helped me. Studies are showing that a child will learn better in a loving environment, and most particularly sitting next to a parent or on their lap, where they feel protected. The article further states, “Cuddles and hugs are just as important to your toddler’s brain development as words on a page.” I would go so far as to say that it’s not just a toddler who can benefit from loving touch. It’s something we all need.
My own children are also emotional connectors. As I look at the four of them and think about how they learn best, they vary from child to child but they have one common denominator: they love to be hugged. My daughter is a very cuddly girl and has been her whole life. Nothing fills her up like a hug. My 7-year-old son has a hair temper, and goes from sweet to sour in a split second, but he can be pulled out of his mood immediately with a hug. My 5-year-old son is prone to tears and whining, but wrap your arms around him and watch the transformation. Touch is powerful. The feeling of someone’s arm around your shoulders can turn your whole day around. It’s a message of love, of comfort, and you feel strengthened to give life another go.
In the public school system, there are laws to keep touching completely off-limits. To some extent I approve of those laws; I think everything that can be done to protect children should be done. But the law (at least in the state of Utah) also forbids a touch on the shoulder or a pat on the back. Parents are also feeling more gun-shy about showing affection to their children. Once our children reach a certain age, they are being deprived of physical contact, which we all crave. No wonder the teenage pregnancy rate is going up – they are craving a physical connection and are seeking it out the wrong way.
I encourage you to implement hugs into your schooling routine. It will increase your child’s self-esteem and super-charge their brains into action. Remember, children learn best when they feel loved and accepted.