Maybe I’m a different breed of parent but I just don’t believe in using humiliation to make a point to my child. Take the recent example of a mother from Akron, Ohio who punished her 13-year-old daughter through Facebook.
She was apparently mouthing off to her mother on Facebook but the details are sketchy. No matter what it was, the mother decided to create a Facebook page with a picture of her daughter and an “X” over her mouth.
Below her daughter’s picture were the words, “I do not know how to keep my mouth shut. I am no longer allowed on Facebook or my phone. Please ask me why. My mom says I have to answer everyone that asks.”
Well now it has made national news. It is similar to the story a couple of months ago when a father put out a video that went viral. In it he talked about his daughter’s disrespectful ways and then went on to shoot her laptop.
While I do believe it can teach a lesson, I believe parental punishment like this can backfire. The response from a child may be true remorse but more than likely, there is going to be a deep-seated anger.
No teenager wants to be embarrassed in front of someone else, most especially the entire nation. Yet stories like these do just that.
I have to ask myself, how would I feel if I were that teenager? I would be pretty upset. And I would be absolutely horrified if my parent’s punishment was all over the internet and news.
I also have to wonder if these parents aren’t looking to be in the spotlight. It’s the thought of doing something off the wall and drawing attention that might be a motivating factor.
Although I don’t know for sure what this mom was thinking…I don’t believe in her methods. If she ever hopes to have a close relationship with her daughter, this isn’t the way to do it.
I believe punishment should happen behind closed doors. It shouldn’t be part of social networking and it most especially shouldn’t be there for the world to see.
What do you think about parents who use humiliation to punish their children?
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Photo by Andrew Feinberg in Flickr