Many people tell me that they could never homeschool. They always have a very good and valid reason whey they could not do it. I understand what they are saying because many of the same reasons nearly kept me from homeschooling. I almost didn’t homeschool because I felt alone. I almost didn’t homeschool because I didn’t understand my options. I also almost didn’t homeschool because I thought my family would not approve. I also didn’t homeschool because I didn’t think I had the patience to do it.
I am one of those people who don’t like to be kept waiting. If you ask me to meet you somewhere, you had better be there on time or when you did get there, you were left dealing with a very sour person. I hate to be late for anything. I hate to repeat myself. Somehow I managed to marry someone with no respect for time (as in he is oblivious to it), and my children of course like his idea of timeliness over mine.
Needless to say, I was often left being very impatient, and was prone to mini tantrums and bouts of yelling when it was time to get on the school bus, to after school activities, and even in helping with homework when a child was moving what I considered to be too slow. When I mentally applied my temperament to homeschooling, I was certain that it was a disaster waiting to happen. Yet, the call to homeschooling was strong, so I spent sometime talking to another homeschooling mom who also described herself as impatient. She basically told me “the world is not going to end if you are late for something”. Pick your fights and let go of your need to control every situation.
The outcome was not magical. In fact, there was a lot of pain involved for me. But over time, I learned that the world does not necessarily move at my hyperactive speed. I learned to walk away from the table when a child was moving painfully slow. Cooking or folding laundry while helping with lessons helped to slow me down. I have learned tricks to help them get in the car on time when we are going to a class or activity. My favorite is to just give a countdown. “We have 15 minutes to get in the car… we have 10 minutes to get in the car… we have 7 minutes to get in the car… and so on.”
While my temperament has not completely changed, we have gotten to a place where my kids know what to expect from me and I know what to expect from them. I still refuse to repeat myself, so whichever child hears a command repeats it to the child who was not paying attention. If neither child was paying attention, they have to guess. On the other hand, I have also learned to stop trying to control my husbands and kids needs to move at their own speed when they need to. We are never on time to family dinners anymore, and we are often late for church. I have learned that it is not worth it to be on time if the trade off is showing up in a foul mood. Needless to say, one of the first benefits of homeschooling that we realized was that we didn’t have to catch a bus at 7:15 am anymore!