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I Don’t Judge You for Not Homeschooling

My decision to homeschool is not a criticism of your decision to use traditional education.

When I mention that we homeschool, I often get a defensive response and explanation as to why the person I am speaking to cannot homeschool. It makes me feel as if they are trying to justify to me why they do not homeschool. This is not necessary. I will think no more of your or no less of you because of the educational choice you have made for your children. I only ask for the same treatment.

My mother was a teacher.

My mom taught special Ed from the time I started high school, until she died 15 years later. She was an excellent teacher, and she taught at an excellent school. Her friends were excellent teachers as well. She instilled the importance of proper elocution, and good study habits. If we had a question, she had a ready finger to point to the volumes of Encyclopedia Britannica on the bookshelves. She taught us how to learn independently. She did the same for her students. I was astounded by the number of former students, and parents who were at her funeral. I know that teachers are generally good.

I had teachers who changed my life.

I had teachers who I love and still remember fondly. Mrs. Opachu handed me The Lion, The Witch and The Wardrobe, and gave me a thirst for reading. Her actions must have been inspired, because I was absent as many days as I could that year due to bullying. After she gave me that book, my attendance picked up. Mrs. Sandberg taught me how to study for subjects in which I had no interest. I always remembered answers to history questions by recalling her corny jokes. She taught me to insert humor into education. Mr. Vangor taught me that girls can do science, and babied me a bit by letting me draw pictures of the molecules since he knew I was an artist. Mrs. Turkheimer praised my art abilities continuously. I know that teachers are life changers.

I will never forget my senior year in high school.

We had mock trial competitions, art shows, homecoming and prom. We also had weekly parties. We, the seniors bonded in a way that has provided lifelong friendships. We participated in all of the coming of age rituals that we could get away with. Even as someone from the “nerdy” crowd, I had a blast that year.

My family was not good candidates for homeschooling.

Trust me, I hear you when you say you cannot homeschool your kids. Even with a teacher for a mom, I do not think I would have survived homeschooling. I had a very large family due to parental death, separation, and remarriage. My home was too unpredictable and often toxic. I thrived better outside of my home. Even in the best and well functional families, the parents may not be wired in a way that allows them to homeschool.

Yet, I still choose to homeschool.

My dear departed mother used to argue with me when she realized I had a different game plan for raising kids than she had used. She often said “If it was good enough for you, isn’t it good enough for your kids?” Yes, she was a bit of a control freak. Being the smart aleck that I was, I would feign a twitch and bat my eyes at her. However, I seriously wondered, is good enough good enough? I was fed formula from a bottle, but I breast fed my kids. My mother smoked in my presence, I choose not to smoke at all. I ate canned fruit and vegetables, yet I prefer to feed my kids fresh and organic versions. Sure, I came out OK, and my kids are very likely to come out OK too. Different is also OK, and has the possibility of being better.

It takes a certain degree of “crazy” to homeschool.

I was afraid to tell my brother that I had decided to homeschool my kids. He was a bit of a control freak, and I was concerned he would be one of those people to try to force me to put my kids back in school by any means necessary. When I finally got up the nerve to tell him, he said, “I’m not surprised, you’ve always been a little crazy. I am sure you’ll make it work”. He was right. I have always been a little crazy, but not funny-farm crazy, just different. I have always been different enough to make others uncomfortable. To homeschool, you have to step out of the box, and try to shove your square peg into a round hole. You cannot care what others think while still caring for them as human beings. You have got to be adventurous yet grounded at the same time. You need to be cut from a different type of cloth. You have to be made from a malleable mold. You have to be OK with being different.

So I homeschool my kids and you do not. …I am OK with that. Really!