Apparently I have been delusional in some of my thinking. I have been convinced that for a mom I am pretty cool. I text, I have a Facebook account and I enjoy loud music. I have always felt somewhat connected to my children’s world and honestly, have always felt welcomed.
When my oldest son was in middle school, he had no problem being seen with me. I am very easy to talk to and his friends would enjoy having conversations with me. He didn’t mind when I showed up at his school, he would walk with me down the hallway at our church (even with his friends around) and going on a fieldtrip with him in junior high was fun. I thought hey, I’m a pretty cool mom.
I apparently have lost my coolness, well, at least with my daughter. She has turned out to be an entirely different story. I don’t know if it’s because she is a girl or what but she would rather keep her life with friends and school separated from me. I guess I’m not that cool.
Last week a slip from school was sent home for Career Week. They wanted parents to come in and talk about their careers. I went from being a stay-at-home mom for many years, to a special education aide, to a preschool teacher and now work full-time as a freelance writer. Although I greatly enjoyed the many years I was able to stay home and raise my children and work in education, writing has always been my passion. To now be able to make a living out writing is like a dream come true for me.
I had all these ideas on things I could share with the kids. I wanted to share with them the pile of rejection letters that I saved. They are proof that persistence pays off and if you really want something, keep going after it. I really thought I could be inspirational. I mentioned to my daughter about possibly volunteering and I’m not kidding, she about threw a fit.
Her reaction was surprising to me. No, she did not want me to come to her school and talk. No, I can’t go with her class on an upcoming fieldtrip to a Milwaukee Brewers baseball game. Wow, that kind of hurts. Somehow between my oldest son and her, I seemed to have lost my coolness.
Then I started thinking back on the night before at church and how she was about to go into youth group and I was coming out after talking to someone. She was with her friends and when she saw me, she took a detour. Ouch!
I was really feeling sorry for myself and thinking how rotten my daughter’s attitude was when I had to really take a step back. This is actually “normal” behavior. Not every teenager goes through it, I realize. But a great many of them do.
I had to put my focus on the good things in our relationship. She tells me everything. We have good talks. She entrusts secrets to me. She tries to emulate a lot of things I do, so I must not be too bad.
The more I thought about it, the more I wondered if deep down inside she really does think I’m pretty cool but just doesn’t want to admit it. Yeah, that must be it. Well, at least that’s what I’m going to tell myself the next time she ditches me.
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