I had to, I went back to www.dumbthings.com. It’s odd, I seem to be drawn back to it like a moth to flame and shake my head in absolute unbelief at the stupendously insane things people do. Last night, I sat with my mother at the computer and read to her some of the little ditties on that site. She was laughing so hard and saying, “Oh no, oh no.” So, let me share some of these that she and I found so hysterical:
“A woman came home to find her husband in the kitchen, shaking frantically with what looked like a wire running from his waist towards the electric kettle. Intending to jolt him away from the deadly current she whacked him with a handy plank of wood by the back door, breaking his arm in two places. Till that moment he had been happily listening to his Walkman.”
How about this one? This is more of a “Huh?”
“More than 600 people in Italy wanted to ride in a spaceship badly enough to pay $10,000 a piece for the first tourist flight to Mars. According to the Italian police, the would-be space travelers were told to spend their ‘next vacation on Mars, amid the splendors of ruined temples and painted deserts. Ride a Martian camel from oasis to oasis and enjoy the incredible Martian sunsets. Explore mysterious canals and marvel at the views. Trips to the moon also available.’ Authorities believe that the con men running this scam made off with over six million dollars.”
Okay, I have to ask. I am a legitimate businesswoman, with a legitimate business plan and legitimate profits for an investor. Apparently being legitimate isn’t the key! I need to be promising to make movies on Jupiter, where all the legendary films of the universe have been made. I knew something was missing!
“In our Likely Story department this week, the crew of a trawler that sank in the Sea of Japan claimed their ship went down after “being struck by a cow which fell out of the clear blue sky”. According to Flying magazine, no one believed this absurd explanation– except the Russian military. It seems that the crew of a military cargo jet had stolen a cow they found wandering on a Siberian airfield, and loaded it aboard. While cruising at 30,000 feet, the terrified cow ran amok and jumped out of the plane.”
Stop. Breathe. Your face is turning red, really, breathe!