OK so I have my pathology report it is in my new Cancer Binder now what? I have been down the cancer road before unfortunately. When my dad was 47 he died of esophageal cancer and the year before I got my diagnosis my husband had testicular cancer. His cancer was caught very early and he had his surgery, had radiation and was now considered cancer free. I was sitting in my house with my computer trying to decipher the pathology report but I was VERY overwhelmed.
I called my surgeon gave me his recommendation as to what oncologist to go to, I called my primary doctor to get his opinion and he recommended the same doctor. With both doctor’s recommendation I called and made my first appointment with my oncologist.
I walked into the cancer center, I had been there before with my husband, but this time it seemed so much scarier. For some reason when I was there with him I felt like the office building was a warm, inviting place with pretty fish in the fish tank. Now when it is my turn I notice the “medicine smell” of the office, I notice how the chairs are not as comfy as I remembered. I know it was just my perception but it felt like a totally different place.
So I am sitting in this tiny room waiting for a strange guy to walk in and see me sitting there in a tiny paper gown that was going to want to check the “girls” out. As I mentioned in a previous entry I am not a prude but it was odd to get poked and prodded by a stranger in front of my husband.
So in walks this perfect stranger he does his little introduction, did the exam and then I was able to get clothes on again. I got my Cancer Binder out, I had my list of questions ready for him. What I was not ready for was when he said “Well I read your reports and we can treat you this time but, when it comes back we can’t”!!! Can you believe that? The nerve of him to be that cold and heartless I was stunned. I should have followed my gut instincts and punched him in the nose and walked out to find a new doctor but this is the one who everyone recommended. I had my binder but no real knowledge of what was coming so I sat there, wiped the tears away and kept going with the appointment.