The most frustrating thing about being a single parent is that you can never take a time out. Recently we had a pretty big issue come up in Hailey’s life. Something that has all of us more than a little freaked out. I’m trying to be strong; I’m trying to be supportive.
Her Dad on the other hand has the luxury of deciding not to deal with this right now. He can not answer her phone calls or texts, avoid seeing her, until he comes to terms with what is going on. Not me. I’m in the thick of it. Holding her while she cries, trying to look on the bright side and discuss all the ways we can get through this.
I want to cry, I want to scream, throw things, kick the walls or just shut myself up in the bathroom in a bubble bath with a glass of wine. I can’t do any of those things, because Hailey needs me. She needs me to remind her that there are worse things in life, that a lapse in judgment doesn’t have to define you, that she will get through this, stronger and smarter than ever. Most of all she needs me to listen, to wrap my arms around her and remind her that no matter what, my love is unconditional.
I’m sure her father doesn’t see his love as conditional, he doesn’t see that he is ducking out when she needs him most, but that is what she sees. As I watch my little girl struggling with this life changing moment, I see the strength but I also see the vulnerability that is there because her father is not supporting her, not helping her over this hump and she can’t help but wonder if she is a bad person and that’s why he has turned away.
I try not to ever bash her father so I remind her her father’s reactions have nothing to do with her; he is wrestling with his own demons and cannot see how to help her. I just hope, that in this case, one parent is enough.