If you are pregnant and have decided to place your baby for adoption, you still have some choices you need to make for your baby’s future. The hard part and decision has been made and now you need to decide what type of adoption plan is best for you and your baby. This is an important step to take as soon as you have made your decision to place your baby for adoption.
Remember you are the mother until your baby is born and you have signed the legal documents relinquishing your rights. In some states, mothers have a period of time after placing their baby to change their mind but, in other states mothers have less recourse should they decide to parent after the baby is born and placed with the adoptive parents. The important fact is to understand how your state laws work and when and how your rights as a mother change.
When you have decided to place your baby for adoption there are things you may want some control over. How much involvement you want in the decisions about who your baby’s parents will be is one area you get to decide. If you have strong feelings about being involved in selecting the adoptive parents you want to work with an agency or attorney who will listen to your feelings and work with you.
The questions you might ask yourself before you start your adoption plan are:
- Do you want to help decide who adopts your baby?
- Would you mind if a single person adopted your baby?
- What about a couple of a different race than you?
- Do you care if your baby is placed in a same sex couple relationship?
- Would you like to be able to share medical information with your child’s family that may only become known in the future?
- Would you like to have an open or semi-open adoption with the adoptive parents?
- Would you like to share the pregnancy and childbirth experience with the adoptive parents?
If you don’t have strong feelings about being involved in the placement selection, an adoption agency or attorney will decide who adopts your baby based on who they think can best care for the child.
Some mothers want more involvement and other mothers find it too painful to make some of the choices. There is no right or wrong way to make an adoption plan for your baby there is only the way that works for you. The important thing is that you find professionals who treat you with respect and help you with the decision, without pushing you to make a choice you are uncomfortable making. Remember, until your rights are terminated–you are your baby’s mother.
If you would like to talk with other mothers who have placed their babies for adoption you might find great support and help at Adoption.com
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For more information about parenting special needs children you might want to visit the Families.com Special Needs Blog and the Mental Health Blog. Or visit my personal website.