I write often here about how important it is for us as parents to model behaviors for our kids—things like honesty and patience and empathy are all important personal traits that we can exhibit ourselves in order to help our children learn what is expected. But, I think there are all sorts of morals, ethics, and character strengths that we must first foster in ourselves if we have hopes that our children will grow up with these cherished traits. How can we teach something that we haven’t really learned ourselves?
If children can learn negative and abusive behaviors in the home from their parents and families, than it stands to reason that we should be able to share positive traits and behaviors too. After all, we have nearly twenty years with our children living in our home and absorbing our influence. When you think over what sort of adult you hope your child will become, what do you envision? I’m not talking about jobs, careers, or personality traits here—but more learned behavior and “character”—what do you hope your child learns and absorbs? Honesty? Integrity? Charity? Kindness? Consideration? Helpfulness? Work ethic? All of these are character traits that a parent can help foster, by nurturing them within him or herself and SHOWING children what it is all about.
So much of parenting forces us to take good, hard looks at ourselves as people. Fortunately, we parents are works in progress too and parenting can actually inspire us to strengthen our character in ways we might not have otherwise felt compelled to do. So, before trying to “teach” our children the character traits we want them to have as adults, our time might be better spent developing them in ourselves and modeling the behaviors and traits for our kids.
See Also: What Can Be Done to Encourage Tolerance?
Maybe We Shouldn’t Worry Too Much About How Kids Respond
Are Parent’s Important Life Lessons Sinking In?