When you have in-laws that don’t really like you it makes it really difficult to attend family functions. While I was growing up we had always been taught that if something is bothering you or if you have a problem with a person you should try to talk it out. Unfortunately for me my new in-laws did not agree with this logic. They would much rather lift a rug and push any problems under it before they would talk about it.
When we were done with the holidays we decided we would try to clear the air with them and talk through some of the problems that we had since I moved down here. When we tried to talk with them they kept pushing it aside saying that the time was not good to talk about. First it was too close to my mother in-laws birthday, then it was too close to their anniversary, too close to Groundhog Day whatever it was the time was never right to have the talk. You would think we were trying to have peace negotiations between North and South Korea instead of trying to work through hurt feelings.
I will admit that if someone hurts my feelings my first instinct is to confront the issue head on, but with my in-laws I was trying to give them some space and explain to them how they have made me feel with their comments and actions. They acted like if they kept pushing off the conversation that the hurt feelings and issues would just go away like magic. When it comes to hurt feelings ignoring them does not make them go away.
I figured maybe we would give it a few months and then try to see if anything else hurtful was done or said. Unfortunately it was, his family including siblings would not call our home. Like I said in a previous entry the only time during the first six months that they called the house was to tell him that a friend had died in a car accident. If his parents wanted to talk to him they would call him at work, it felt to me like they were doing that so they could almost pretend that I did not exist. I think somewhere in their home they have a secret bet sheet going to see how long our marriage will last. Of course I am just kidding about that, well at least a little bit.