Some days I want to run away. I’m tired of being unappreciated. I’m tired of being the one who is the mean parent because Hailey is my responsibility 24/7. I’m tired of being the one who seems to say no more than yes. I’m tired of not being able to be the fun parent because I’m too busy working, making dinner, doing laundry, wiping noses, checking homework and worrying to have much time for fun.
Does every single mother feel this way? I think we all do, there isn’t anything unique about my situation. I’m the full time parent, even though I work full time. Hailey’s dad get’s to be a father when it’s convenient and then it’s more fun than work.
Sometimes I’m so tired of being the responsible one. Ice cream for dinner? Absolutely! No bath tonight, ok. Stay up way past your bedtime and watch movies, of course. I don’t let her do any of those things. I’m the one that pays the dental bills, the doctor bills and deals with the angry bear in the morning if she doesn’t get enough sleep.
I’m tired of being the one who worries. Does she eat properly? Does she make friends easily? Will she succeed? Is she safe?
I can’t imagine what it’s like to go to bed at night and not start planning the next day while laying in the dark. What would it be like not to be the one who gets called when she misses the bus or gets hurt at school?
Just once, I would like to be Hailey’s dad. I don’t want to worry about school fees, school clothes and college. I just want to relax, let whatever happens, happen. But I can’t. I’m the Mom and that means it’s my job to make sure she is safe, healthy and taken care of, after all, she needs to be in good shape to go have all that fun with her dad on the weekend.