Recently one of my kids has been going through a tough time—all of the changes and transitions that she is going through right now have really thrown her into a tailspin. As I encourage and urge her and try to let her know that she really is doing fabulously as she works through all of these changes, she often answers with the gloomy, “I’m trying.” The fact is, even if she doesn’t see the results yet, she really is trying and that is all anyone can ask of her anyway! As parents, we can support our kids when they are struggling and trying and try to alleviate some of the tendency to put the focus on the results. Instead, we can help them see that it really is all about the process.
Learning how to tolerate frustrations and keeping working during those times of disillusion is incredibly important in building up a child’s resiliency. As we adults know, none of us escapes the hard times and life moves in cycles. While it is tough for my daughter to realize that ending high school and starting college is supposed to be huge transition, it really is an opportunity for her to learn some valuable coping and life skills. Keeping moving and continuing to try are major elements in coping during life’s most tumultuous times. As parents, we may want to step in and help to shield our children from those disorienting major life transitions, but it is probably better that we encourage them to just keep trying and focus on taking things one step and one day at a time.
Trying is important, and continuing to make effort when it is impossible to see the end result takes a great deal of practice and patience. As parents, we can let our child know that we support their trying and we understand that sometimes in life, that is the very best that we can do.
See Also: Are We Really Trying to Change Them?