The other day, I was on a bus coming home from a very hectic and kooky day. The bus was crowded and a young mother got on with a rather vocal and “busy” toddler. As soon as the bus got good and crowded, and started to pull away from the station curb, the toddler started into screaming and crying. I’m talking head-splitting, ear-piercing, not-what-you-want-to-hear-at-five-o’clock fit-throwing. While I wouldn’t have blamed the mother if she lost her cool, instead I was dazzled by how patient and playful she remained—even under the annoyance and heavy gazes of a bus full of commuters.
This mom did everything “right”—she was firm with the child about sitting down on her “bottom” but she was also completely focused and warm. She had a bag full of distractions, including some cookies which she only pulled out after plenty of conversation and boundary-setting—there was even a song or two which she used unselfconsciously to distract the child. I was impressed. If she hadn’t been sitting several seats behind me, I would have told her so.
I think that patience is one of the most important tools we parents have (after a well-developed sense of humor) and it can be so overlooked. After all, it is hard not to give into aggravation and frustration—even if we know full well it has a tendency to make things worse when we do. Staying calm under pressure meant nothing to me until I had three small kids all “ganging up” on me at once!
Patience IS a virtue, and for a harried parent it is truly an amazing gift we can access and give to our kids—think of all the good stuff we are putting out into the world when we stay patient with our child—not only are we influencing our child and keeping our own blood pressure in check, but I think patience makes the world a better place overall.
Also: Be Prepared to Repeat the Rules
If I Could Only Stop Lecturing