In Does an STD Make the Crime of an Affair Even Worse?, I pondered just that. As deedee1231 pointed out, it probably doesn’t make it worse, it just adds insult to injury.
I believe that. Yet when I wrote that article I didn’t think beyond an STD as a consequence of an affair that might add insult to injury. But then the whole prostitution scandal with former New York Governor Eliot Spitzer happened.
Except, before I could ponder how he not only embarrassed himself but his poor wife and that’s certainly a huge insult too, my mom fell sick. I didn’t have time to write my musings on all this. Until now.
Paid for Services Rendered
How would you feel if you found out your husband had paid to have sex with someone? What would be your first question? Would you want to know what she had looked like? How old she was? What they had done and where they had done it? How he had procured her services? How much he spent?
In my case, the first thing I’d want to know would be how much Wayne spent. I’d be completely perplexed that he’d paid for sex because he’s about as frugal as they come. He rarely pays full price for anything so I’d be most curious to know if he’d paid full price for her, or if he’d nickel and dimed some kind of discount.
I have to admit, finding out he’d bought sex would irk me as much as learning he’d had an emotional affair with someone.
Bringing Up Baby
But what if the affair resulted in the other woman getting pregnant? Or, if a wife was being unfaithful, getting pregnant by the other man? What happens then? How do you recover from something like that? Would you accept the baby? Support your husband being involved in it’s life? (In the case of the other woman getting pregnant.) For husbands whose wives have done them wrong, would you support her both financially and emotionally through the pregnancy? If the other man wanted to be a father to the child, could you tolerate your wife’s continued connection to him?
This scenario makes for great soap opera storylines and dramatic daytime talk show appearances, but it’s also stuff real people have to deal with every day. But how do they do it? Or don’t they? Is this their breaking point that makes them walk away from it all?
Would any of them be yours?
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The Psychology of Why Married Men Cheat, Part 2
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Coping with an Unfaithful Spouse
Ten Signs that Your Spouse May Be Cheating