The R.S.V.P. is notorious for being ignored. In some cases, it is not so much a sense of ignoring it, as it is failure to remember to reply within the given timeframe. It happens. We all get busy. However, we need to do our best to let hosts know if we will attend their functions or not. Having a good idea how many people will attend obviously makes preparations simpler.
There are other issues when it comes to invitations as well.
Proud parents beam as they write out addresses on invitations to their children’s graduation. Thrilled to see that their children have made it through high school and are becoming productive, responsible young people, they want to share the occasion with family members and friends. The graduation invitations are mailed, and while we usually already know which friends and relatives are likely to make it and which (especially distant ones) are not likely to make it, it is nice to hear from people.
A bigger issue comes into play when tickets are involved. Some graduations require each person attending to have a ticket, due to limited parking and seating. Should you send graduation tickets to someone you really don’t think will come, and just hope they send the tickets back in time for someone else to use? Will the mail come and go in enough time for the tickets to be returned? What if you don’t send tickets, distribute those you should have sent, and then the invitees decide to come?
While we usually remind invitees to follow proper etiquette, in this case, it goes both ways. If you invite someone to a function that requires tickets, even if you doubt that they will come, it is proper that you include tickets.
Another option is to purchase and send out graduation announcements (especially to those “iffy” folks) in place of invitations. This may be a good way to avoid the sticky ticket situation…