Do you have a baby that seems to cry often, frequent, or with great intensity? If so, you might have wondered if all this crying is dangerous, physically or psychologically. Well, let us put your mind at ease. Crying is not dangerous to your baby. In fact, you might be faced with a situation in which you need to allow the baby to cry. For example, if you have changed your baby’s diaper, fed him or her, provided cuddle time, and no illness is present, it could be a manipulative technique. Keep in mind your baby is not doing this to be a bad baby but just learning to be human.
When my son was three months of age, he began crying every night, wanting to be held. As a new mother, I did what most parents do, I picked him up and rocked him. Sometimes, this would occur several times during the night. Unfortunately, I had no clue and allowed the crying to continue until he was 10 months of age. Finally, I was so exhausted, I phoned his doctor to ask for help.
The response I was given shocked me. The doctor told me to let him cry. As you can imagine, my heart dropped. The doctor explained that crying was not going to do any harm and that in fact, it would teach him to sleep through the night, something he should have been doing for months. The doctor also explained that it would take about five days but he made a promise it would work. Although skeptical, I was desperate for some rest.
The first night, my son awoke around midnight. I did what the doctor suggested – making sure that he was in a dry diaper, fed, and safe. Then I placed him back in bed and left the room. About 30 minutes later, he awoke again, reaching his tiny arms out for me to pick him up. I stood by the door, not entering the room, again following the doctor’s advice. My son cried so hard for three hours, making choking sounds, spitting, throwing a fit, that all I could do was go downstairs and cry with him. Once exhausted, he fell asleep. He awoke two more times that night, crying for about 30 minutes each time.
The second night, my son went through the same scenario. After changing his diaper, feeding him, and rocking him, I placed him back in his crib. Like clockwork, he awoke about 30 minutes later. As I stood in the door telling him that everything was okay and to go back to sleep, he reached out for me sobbing. On this night, he still cried hard but only for 45 minutes. Again, he awoke a few more times but crying lasted only 10 minutes each time.
The third night, same story but this time, when he awoke the second time and after standing at the door providing him with reassurance, he cried – for 10 minutes. This night, he awoke only one time. I again provided him with words of encouragement and reassurance at which time he simply plopped down and went back to sleep. My doctor had told me five nights but it took only three. From that day forward, he slept all night long. During the day, he was a happy, healthy baby who seemed far more content in that he was not so tired. Crying for a baby is not dangerous but it is a trying time for mom and dad. Be patient and as long as nothing serious is wrong and your child is provided with the comforts needed, he/she will be fine.