Is it ever right to lie in a marriage? Recently on the TV show ‘Lie to Me’ they were talking about the different ways of lying and that most people tell white lies. Should we differentiate and try to make some lies seem less serious than others. Why might you or your spouse lie?
Sometimes it can be to spare the other person’s feelings. She asks, ‘what’s the matter?’ You don’t want to answer because you’re frightened it will only lead to an argument or to tears. So you shrug and say nothing. Is that any less hurtful?
You ask if your outfit looks okay. Of course what you want him to say is you look beautiful or at least good. But what if he doesn’t think you do? Should he lie and tell you that you do or would it be better for your spouse to gently suggest maybe a different option of clothing. Too often he will be tempted to say what he thinks you want to hear whether it is true or not, just for the sake of a peaceful life.
Quite simply sometimes it might be better at times to not know what your spouse is thinking. Knowing may only create problems.
People often lie when we don’t want to do something. Are we so frightened of offending people or that people can’t handle the truth if we say ‘I don’t want to go,’ or ‘I don’t want to do that?’ Are we so concerned for sparing their feelings that we refuse to be honest. Or are we afraid people will no longer like or love us if we are honest? Do we think our spouse or others we relate to cannot handle honesty? I’d be interested to hear anyone’s thoughts on any of this.
I guess the main point is if you are being honest is to still try and be tactful and gentle in the way you deliver that honest comment. So it doesn’t come across like being hit with a sledgehammer.
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