There are times when marriage can be a perfectly blissful experience. Such magical moments are to be treasured, because too often, they are short-lived. Life has a way of interrupting those serene and special times. Most of us can deal with these facts and simply look forward to the next beautiful moment, while dealing with demands that come our way. However, there are some couples that live in denial and paint a picture of a perfectly peaceful and blissful experience.
It simply isn’t possible. No relationship with another human being will ever be perfect, because we are not perfect. It’s okay (and even healthy) to admit that your marriage isn’t perfect. Nobody’s is. It would be pretty boring if it were. There would be nothing to learn or strengthen or improve. Sunshine and lollipops all the time would get tired in a hurry. That’s not to say that we should thrive on drama. That may be just as unhealthy or more so than living in denial. We have to find a balance.
I like to think that my own marriage is overall a positive one, and my husband and I rarely “fight.” Still, we argue and disagree and discuss and confront. We communicate in various ways, but we try to avoid letting things go too long. Avoidance goes hand in hand with denial and it can be very harmful. Pretending that all is well when it is not will eventually blow up in our faces.
It is necessary to be honest with yourself as well as your spouse and to get your issues out in the open. Find the words. Don’t hide your feelings because you fear confrontation or rejection, find positive ways to express your concerns, questions, needs, and desires. Living in denial is far from having the blissful relationship people attempt to insinuate. It’s actually a very lonely existence, and there is nothing worse than being lonely when you’re in what is supposed to be a loving relationship.
Open up and begin to develop a more intimate relationship. May your marriage be filled with more bliss than bluster.