In some cases, marriages go bad because one of the partners begins to identify and dwell on the faults of the other. It can be very easy to find faults and focus not them rather than look at the positive things that a person does.
While in several of my articles I have discussed accepting the faults of the other person and how we cannot change our partner’s personality, I am going to take this article into a little direction.
When thinking about the faults that you have found in your mate, have you ever considered yourself?
There is no doubt that your partner does have faults, we all do. However are your mate’s really that bad or are you needing a diversion to keep your mind off of you?
In many cases we turn to the faults of others to make us feel better about ourselves or to take our minds off of ourselves.
Could it possibly be that you are using your mate to take your mind off of how unhappy you are with yourself?
By blaming things on your mate and looking for the things that he or she does wrong you are taking the responsibility off of yourself. No one likes to admit that they are the problem and that they need some change. Change can be difficult.
However when it seems that you cannot be content with another, begin by taking a closer look at you. Maybe it is you that you are truly unhappy with. Perhaps you have given up on a dream or goal that you once had. Maybe you are unsatisfied with work. Maybe you feel that you are not living up to your true potential. No matter what it is that is keeping you down, there is something that you feel could be better in your life.
Before giving up on your marriage because you feel that your spouse is the problem, stop and think about yourself. Try changing something in your life to give you more joy. Restart an old hobby that has been forgotten or go back to school to finish the dream that you began. Try cutting ties with the things that are keeping you down. Remember that a relationship has two people in it and both partners have influence over the success of it.