When talking about child custody, typically parents deal with sole or joint. As parents go through divorce to enter the world of single parenting, they will be faced with numerous decisions. One of the most important decisions relates to custody of the children. While there are always options, the last thing any new single parent wants is for the child to be drug through a nasty court battle.
Once you become a single parent, the children would live with you or your ex-spouse full or part-time. Interesting, 33 intense studies were conducted by a Maryland psychologist consisting of 1,846 children associated with sole custody and 814 children associated with joint custody. The goals of each of these studies was to get a better idea of how children do in one situation compared to the other
The study showed that joint custody children dealt with fewer emotional problems and negative behaviors. In addition, the children who had time with both mom and dad had higher levels of self-esteem. They also got along with members of the family, and did much better in school. Considered well-adjusted, joint custody children seemed like normal two-family children but living in two homes.
What the study uncovered is that sole custody children have a much tougher time in life. I remember when my kid’s father and I were divorced. Our children were three and one and things between us were bad. However, our love for our children was greater than our hate for each other. Through years of hard work and determination, we are now exceptionally close friends and have been for almost 20 years. Our kids were raised by both parents although I was the one with joint custody.
I always made sure he had time with the children I called to let him know of accomplishments, school programs, recitals, or problems so that he could participate. We even went to parent/teacher conferences, ballgames, and dances together. I have heard so many single parents state they could never get along with their ex-spouse but the truth is you can. It takes work and time but as long as the children’s security and happiness is in the forefront of both parent’s minds, anything is possible.