Like most parents, I try to spend time each day playing with my child. This daily interaction is as natural as breathing, right? Well maybe not. According to anthropologist David Lancy, the idea of parent-child play is really a modern day occurrence and not necessarily a good thing. Lancy says that this type of interaction happens only in wealthy developed countries. In the journal, American Anthropologist, he stated that in many cultures adults think that it is silly to play with children. However, many Americans feel that playing with their children is the one way to raise smart and well-adjusted kids.
Lancy reported that he was finding a number of parents who felt guilty when they were unable to enjoy playing with their kids. Many parens also report that they enjoy spending time playing with their kids but on closer examination conceded that time spent playing with their kids was “about as much fun as housework.” Lancy says that Americans have a tendency to go overboard with structured parent-child play, especially play that has specific academic goals.
I admit I was taken aback by Lancy. I do agree that some parents might exhaust too much energy in structured play time. And yes, many of the activities have an academic goal as a hidden agenda. I believe placing kids in an enriched environment supports natural learning. As for playing with Tyler, I try not to plan “play time”, with the exception of family game night. I like to play (no pun intended!) it by ear otherwise. If he asks me to play with him I will but I also encourage him to play alone sometimes. I enjoy playing with him but I don’t like to feel that I am being forced to do so based on some standard of what good parenting is supposed to be. Some of the activities we engage in are fun and others are well, boring. At times I am simply too tired to play. For example, the past week I have had a case of insomnia. Playing is the last thing on my mind. All I want to do is sleep!
When I recall my own childhood, we were expected to play alone, with our siblings or with friends. It was rare to find parents involved in structured play with their kids. In fact, I can’t recall a time when I ever played with my mother. So what do you think, should parents set aside structured time to play with their kids or leave them to their own devices?
See also:
Teaching Kids to Amuse Themselves
Research Shows Having Imaginary Friend Beneficial to Young Kids