When I was a kid, there were times when subjects or conversational topics would become “closed”–as in, “That’s all I want to hear about this, the subject is closed!” I always vowed that when I became a parent, I was not going to declare conversational subjects off limits. Of course, like many of the things I swore I would never do as a parent, I have caught myself saying that I have said “all I’m going to say” on particular subjects. So, while I may avoid the official declaration, there are times when my kids have had to ask whether a subject is open for conversation, or not…
Our kids are pretty smart and savvy and they have a tendency to know just the very topics we DO NOT want to talk about any more. Usually, this is because they want something specific to happen and we are not willing to give in, or we want something else to happen. Instead of continuing to negotiate, we may pull out the “I’m the boss” card and close a subject. I don’t know about you, but I never really feel like I’ve won the disagreement or negotiation when I say I’ve said all I’m going to. In fact, I feel like all I’m really doing is buying myself some time to regroup. So, in fact, the subject isn’t really closed, but temporarily “tabled.”
The “never say never” rule most certainly was invented by a parent as things tend to come back to haunt us again and again and the very things we swear we won’t do or have to deal with are the very things we do have to face. I think this goes for “subjects” too. I’m wondering if any subject is every entirely closed or off limits in family life–or if our kids are just finding another angle or direction to come at us from?
See Also: I’d Like to Have a “Situation Room” Too and Can You Stay Calm and Neutral During Discipline?