I wrote earlier this morning about whether there is any truth to a perceived division between the “couple” world and the “single” world. While I wrote about different ways of looking at this situation, I now want to focus on how we personally “feel” about ourselves when we are coupled or single and whether or not we feel differently.
In many ways, I DO feel differently about my life (not myself) as a single person than I did as a couple. In fact, I have to admit that my experiences when I was coupled have been so influential as to cause me to PREFER to think of myself as solo and not part of a couple. I know there are many people who feel just the opposite; they feel like half a person if they do not have another person with whom to anchor themselves. There are those who have the perception that they are only welcome into different areas and different peer groups if they are coupled or who feel like there are things they cannot do if they are by themselves.
Even if there is not really antagonism between couples and singles (and I know there are those instances where there really seems to be antagonism), we can have attitudes that hold us back and keep us from fully experiencing life when we are “not coupled.” Are there things that you will not do because you are single? Go to a movie alone, take a vacation, go out dancing, buy a house or a car? There is a great deal of living that you may be passing up just because you are waiting to have a spouse or partner in order to do it. Instead of worrying about all the ways you are NOT coupled, why not work on developing yourself until you feel as comfortable, potent and powerful as any couple you know?