Due to the strong feelings toward homeschooling it is often looked at as some sort of exclusive club. The club that lets you in but will never let you out unless you defect and that my friend is like a good old fashioned Amish shunning. At least this is the feeling I get from moms who email me for encouragement when their homeschooling days come to an end. For some reason or another they can no longer homeschool but they are told by others not to give up, they can do it, or they are harming their children by sending them of to school. I always counted myself lucky as I never knew homeschoolers who were anything but encouraging. As a homeschooling mom for the past ten years, I have come across many homeschoolers through co-ops and online forums and blogs. We all have a bond through our choice to homeschool. Some homeschool out of conviction, some due to a problem when the child was in school, some because the schools in their area were subpar. Whatever the reason, we have formed a close bond because often we are looked at as those crazy, unsocialized, fanatic homeschoolers. But how do we react when one decides not to homeschool anymore? How does one feel when making that decision?
I know many women feel as if they have failed because they will no longer homeschool. Perhaps homeschooling did not work out for their family no matter how hard they tried so in essence it did fail. But does that make you a failure? Hardly. I know some who feel other homeschoolers do not understand and feel ashamed to be around them as if they have betrayed some homeschooling rite by sending their child to school. Is this feeling justified? Of course not. You make your decision and if you and your family are at peace with it, then do not let anyone else make you feel inferior.
It was not until this year when I announced my daughter would attend high school that I understood these feelings firsthand. As a homeschooler blogger, curriculum reviewer, speaker, and lover of homeschooling, I felt like I was betraying my readers. I felt like I no longer had a homeschool leg to stand on even if I still had three other students. I had given in and sent a child to school. I wondered how it would be received. However, I knew I could not keep it under my hat. I like to be honest and transparent on my personal blog and in my blog’s Facebook community. So, I revealed the decision early on explaining it was my husband’s choice. He would not allow homeschooling past junior high…period. It was a deal we made many years ago and now it was time to pay the piper. There was no guessing the name “Rumpelstiltskin” to make it go away. So, it is happening and it is heartbreaking in some ways but God provided me a peace and a terrific school to send her. She is excited about going and wanted to go to school since junior high. At any rate, I finally understood feeling bad about it. I also felt the backlash. Many were every encouraging but some that emailed were cruel. As if cruelty would change my mind! As if I needed to be chastised! As if they were given charge over my child!
You are not a failure and should not be ashamed to follow your husband’s lead or to follow the path set before you whether it goes down a homeschool road or not. I admit, I love to homeschool and would love to do it forever…but for one child the path has changed and I will not allow anyone to cause me to make a wrong turn.