Recently, I heard a single parent state that she thought things would be going better in her family if she was “more into” parenting. As she said it, there were other things that she liked to do better than being a parent. What an interesting situation, I thought and I actually felt compassion for her and her family. I often take for granted the fact that I chose to be a parent and while I do look after myself and have my own interests, my kids and family life are at the center of my world. It has never dawned on me that there might be something I would rather be doing…
I am not making a judgment here, merely an observation. I cannot really judge since I don’t know how other people really feel about this. But, I can imagine that it must be hard for a single parent who is constantly thinking about the things he or she would rather be doing instead of parenting and family care. I can also imagine that this might make some of the realities of family life and life as a singe parent more difficult.
I once knew a woman who was constantly counting down the days until her one son turned 18 and she was “free” as she told it. She had always been a single parent and while she claimed to have wanted to have a child, she had never really embraced the joys of the reality. The message she gave her son was that the day he turned 18, he was out and her life would really begin. Needless to say, her son was all but gone long before he turned 18.
Not everyone was born to parent and most of us definitely didn’t set out to be single parents—but how we organize our priorities does matter, as do the messages we send our children about how we feel about parenting.
Also: How Could I NOT Be Thankful?
The Joys and Challenges of Unique Experiences