We single parents can get pretty used to operating in “crisis mode”—so used to it in fact that we might begin to assume that it is the natural state of things. Instead of getting ourselves geared up to respond to an emergency or crisis, we might actually need to settle ourselves down and learn how to discern what is truly a crisis and what is not. We might be making more out of every day occurrences than we need to.
I do not fully understand how the human being can be so adaptable as to actually get used to dangerous, precarious and crisis states as if they were an ordinary day—but we seem to be able to. An extended difficult or challenging time can bring out the best in us and help us stretch our personal skills, but there is the chance that we can get stuck and start to assume we can only work in a state of crisis. There are those who have the self-awareness to say that they think they work best in crisis—but is this really the best way for a parent to work?
Crisis and strain are stressful; they take their toll on our bodies, our minds, and our families. Our children may not be able to discern what is “normal” either if they are used to living in a constant state of crisis. It may take some professional help to learn how to let go of the adrenaline and hyper-stress and settle in to a calmer state of living. We may have to re-learn what is really and truly a crisis, and what is just an ordinary daily challenge or mishap. Drama and that heightened sense of importance that goes along with crisis response can be addictive, or we just might not have realized that we can relax, trust, and take it easy again—regardless; it is helpful to re-learn what is a crisis and what is not.
Also: Midlife Crisis or Just Crisis?
Does Your Family Pull Together or Fall Apart During a Crisis?