We have had a marvelous winter snow. I know that for many of you, this is not a very big deal–in fact, it can be pretty common place, but here in the Pacific Northwest–a fluffy white snow with enough accumulation to play in here on the valley floor is a very big deal indeed. This morning, I watched out my window while I was working as a neighborhood dad and his 3-year-old son worked for nearly an hour building what may have been the child’s first snow man. Then, a half-hour later, I watched as a gang of 4, 6-7-year-olds came by and not only knocked over the snowman, but stomped and smashed it as their oblivious parents stood several yards away talking with each other in their hats and scarves. My teenage daughter and I were angry, horrified and fit to be tied…
Like many neighborhoods, ours has its small pack of bullies–I am here to tell you that this pack of children are not ten or fifteen-years-old and they are not the product of single parent homes. In fact, this little loud, obnoxious pack of kids still catch the elementary school bus and their mothers are there every morning and every afternoon to meet them. The parents (or the moms at least) are obviously present, but they do not seem to be supervising or guiding and I know that on more than one occasion (okay, several) I have had to step out my front door to “parent” these kids–call them out of the middle of the street, attend to some screaming or another child who has been run off the sidewalk by one of the bullies on skates or bicycle. The truth is, it is not so much that the kids are BAD–but that their behavior goes unchecked and unattended to. I cannot help but wonder if they are really trying to get their ever-present but absent parent’s attention or if they are just evolving to think that their behavior is within the realms of normal and acceptable?
Being an available or in proximity parent just isn’t enough as far as I am concerned, a parent still has to be present, attentive, involved, and take the role as guide and authority seriously.
Also: How do You Know if They are Too Crabby for Public?