I was chatting with a new-ish mom recently—a first-time parent with a preschooler who has decided that underwear is out. He is not the slightest big interested in wearing them even though it has only been a year or so since he graduated to “big boy pants” in the first place. She was a bit frazzled and convinced that some sort of irreparable damage would be done, or she would lose all control as a parental authority if she gave in and “let him get away” with not wearing underwear. I couldn’t help but think that is this is just the first of many opportunities for her as a parent to decide if this is really a battle she wants to wage, or if underwear is one of those things that might not be such a big deal?
As a worn-down older mom, I’ve developed a formula that I shared with her. I ask myself if there are any health or safety concerns, and then I rate the “issue” on a scale of 1-10 in terms of “big deal factor”—does it go against my core values or will it really cause the child to head down the “wrong” path of life? According to my formula, abandoning underwear is neither a health or safety factor really and it probably is not going to cause a child to head down the “wrong path.” It might just be one of those things to overlook and save the stress and strain for something much larger.
Besides, it could always be a phase and the child could decide that underwear is back in when he or she starts school or moves on to something else. AND, if he never wears underwear again—so what? Really—so what? Save your energy to fight the bigger battles!
Also: Can We REALLY Raise Them All the Same?
Sending Your Kids to School “As Is”