One aspect of a relationship that many couples struggle with is power. Whenever a couple becomes engaged in an argument it often goes deeper than the issue at hand. Rather than fighting over the incident that occurred, many couples are actually fighting over who has more control or power in the relationship.
Many partners like to know that they can have influence over their mate’s actions and thoughts. Women like to feel that they have say in their men’s habits and actions, especially when it comes to going out with friends or staying out after work. Men like to think that they have control over their women, especially when it comes to her purchases and important decision making.
Although both men and women want to feel that their mates consider them when carrying out their daily activities, neither of them like the thought of being controlled by their partner. Both want to feel that they have control but their mate does not. No one likes being told what to do to or having the feeling of being out of control.
Some couples fight over very small issues that are insignificant. While they say that they are fighting over one thing, in reality they are fighting over who has more control over the other’s actions. For example a couple may fight over who should take out the trash. While taking out the trash is hardly worth a fight, who has the control to get the other to do it may be. The same goes for who gets to choose the weekend plans or who gets to pick the television show at night.
The next time that you and your mate get into an argument stop and think about what it is that you are really arguing about. Is the issue really worth the fight or are you arguing over a much deeper issue?
Arguments: Are Yours Good or Bad?