On the upper East side of Manhattan, it is rare for me to see a child’s parents. When I take my kids to their classes, I sit with the babysitters and chat. In fact, it is so rare to see a child’s own parents that upon first meeting me, one babysitter exclaimed, “Wow, isn’t it amazing how much you look like the kids you’re watching!” Uh. . .yeah.
I get to watch babysitters all the time and I have to say that there are some pretty good nannies out there. . .and some pretty bad ones. I would think that all parents believe they have hired good care givers for their children, but how do you really know? Here are some signs to watch for:
1. Your toddler doesn’t want to see the babysitter.
My babysitter who helps me with the twins is in college. One reason I am able to keep her is that I’m flexible with her college schedule. Once during a bout of finals and recitals she hadn’t come for two weeks. My kids got together and decided to spend their allowance to pay her to come back–not understanding that she was busy with school work. Although it may feel conflicting, that’s the kind of reaction you want your kids to have to their babysitter. Your toddler or baby should be happy to see her.
2. What did they do during the day?
While I wouldn’t expect a minute play by play, your babysitter or nanny should be happy to share with you what they did during the day. If she’s secretive, that’s not a good sign.
3. Your child has a few too many avoidable accidents.
My own toddling twins are like one giant bruise from head to toe. A few bruises in childhood is not a big deal and in fact, could be considered a sign that your babysitter is active with your little one. On the other hand, if it seems like there are just too many accidents or that you hear the phrase, “I just turned for a second,” all too often. . .it is likely your babysitter isn’t paying close enough attention.
4. Your requests aren’t being followed.
You and your babysitter are a team and it is important to hire someone who will work with you. Your requests should be reasonable, but you shouldn’t be ignored either. If you request that your baby be on a particular schedule then you should expect her to follow it.
Of course proper work etiquette is a must. Someone who shows up on time and is honest are essential. This care giver and you must work as a team and you must be able to have confidence in the person you choose to be a care giver to your child.